Jack Nicholson: He May Be Overweight, But He's A Great Man To Me

You want to know why? Because this man is the only celebrity in the past few years who can go out in public, no shirt on, hairy as ever, with his man boobs hanging out and still have that air of confidence. People are criticizing him because of the way he looks, but I personally couldn't have been happier when I found this photo, not more then 20 minutes ago.

He's piled on a few pounds since I last saw a picture of him, sure, but at least he still has his confidence. To everyone who has criticized him since this photo surfaced, I say, Com on people, He's 70! He looks good for his age! A smile on his face and not the stereotypical grumpy old man with a frail body and false teeth. To the media, give him a break! Jeez, this world is so obsessed with image these days, it just sickens me.

Let Jack be, for he is truly what this media needs. A confident, happy guy with a beer belly and man boobs is what the media needs to tell them that image isn't important; it's what’s inside that counts. Congratulations to Jack on his realistic figure, and don't you dare lose a single pound. We love you just the way you are. Beauty only gets attention, but personality captures the heart. M-J Out!

Paris Tries Her Hand At Belly Dancing

Paris Hilton, What springs to mind when you hear those words? I could state a few truths right here, right now, but that's not what this article is about, is it now? Recently, Paris Hilton watched a belly dancer named Asena perform on stage and, as usual, felt the urge to upstage her. She therefore ended up on stage, in a horrible dress, trying to belly dance. I'm not sure if there is anyone out there who cares but still, she felt the need to desperately cling to her ever diminishing fame.

My God, is there any part of her body that woman hasn't flashed? Let me think...No, there isn't. I am seriously starting to think that that is the only way she can cling to stardom. By showing off parts of herself that make everyday people cringe - or get turned on, depending on orientation - and dressing in clothes that make my dog look sexier. And my dog is a boy. Seriously, she should just give it up, considering she'd famous mostly for being rich. If she didn't have that fortune, as I have previously stated, nobody would even look twice at her in the streets!

On another topic, I recently heard on the news how Paris visited less fortunate children. I was just starting to think, "Wow, maybe she's changed for the better" when I heard what she did there. She posed with the kids and handed out signed pictures. Signed pictures? Oh come on, Paris, these are poor little kids who have so little food, money and shelter that they are literally below the line of poverty. How the hell are a few signed photos going to help them, huh?

She really is dumber then she looks! They don't need autographs, they need money! Proper education, clean drinking water, enough food, and proper shelter would be the best thing that she could give these kids. Signed pictures! I can't even begin to tell you what's wrong with that! For now, I shall end this article, before it gets too long. But don't worry; I'll be back in about ten minutes with the next article, as I already have a title, picture and story. M-J Out!

Coleen has ELEVEN hour fitting for £100,000 fairytale wedding gown

One hundred thousand pounds. Dear God, it's finally happened. She's lost her mind completely. Coleen McLoughlin is...wait a second, who the hell is she anyway? She's just a nobody to me, and, from what I've heard, she's only famous because she's marrying some brain dead footballer. Why on earth is that a reason to be famous, and sickening?

I remember when weddings used to be about pledging your love for your partner, not about who wears what, how much the wedding cost and who attends. These days it's got nothing to do with true love anymore. When two people get married in Hollywood, the more they splash out with their undeserved cash, the more magazines they sell and the more popular they are.

She's spending £100,000 on a dress, which is probably worth only $250 at any good Salvation Army store, when there are people all over the world unable to afford their own homes, kids not getting a proper education, healthcare going straight to hell and so many other things that need that money more then she does. It's obscene!

Seriously, if there is one celebrity who can go without the million - or billion - dollar wedding, who can live without these obscene luxuries, then I worship them. Unfortunately, I have yet to discover a single celeb that didn’t splash their wedding across newspapers, or give "exclusive" interviews to absolutely every magazine. Personally, I'm disgusted. M-J Out!

Sorry

I apologize to any readers I may have for my recent absence but I have been back at school lately and I haven't had time to blog. With seven assignments, a ton of homework, an excursion, a mystery illness plaguing me and a few other events that took place in the last few weeks, I've literally been snowed under with work. But now, I'm back and I promise, there will be at three articles tonight at the very least, as I have several things I wish to talk about. I shall start writing them out now. Look out for them in the coming two hours. M-J Out!

Lisa Marie Presley: Pregnant Again

It has been confirmed. Lisa Marie Presley is expecting her first child with husband Michael Lockwood. But you know what's really funny? The other day I found a news article commenting on her ballooning weight but this morning, they were announcing her pregnancy. Isn't it amazing how, after so many years, the press are still focusing on weight.

Concentrating on weight is getting us nowhere in this modern world but everyone in the media seems so superficial. Wait, let me correct myself. They are superficial. Once, just once, I would like to see a member of the press praising a celebrity’s weight gain. I mean, are we that superficial that the only thing that matters is weight?

I believe so. But I'll say more on that issue in a later post. For now, I wish to congratulate Lisa Marie on the impending birth. I wish her and her husband all the best and I hope their baby is born healthy and happy. For now, I shall go, as I have another article I'm working on, one that's going to take some stamina to finish.

Again, all the best. M-J Out!

Jade Goody flashes some unsightly flesh

On a girl’s night out, Jade Goody clambered to her car in front of the paparazzi, unintentionally flashing her legs to them. As she got into the car, the cellulite on the back of her legs was clearly visible. As always, the paparazzi took their opportunity and snapped several unflattering photos of her. Since this photo (left) first emerged, there have been several articles about her on the net, discussing her cellulite.

Is anyone even remotely interested? I know I'm not. The media needs to grow up and realize that every woman has cellulite. It's a part of life; something that no woman can avoid. The media is constantly criticizing every person in Hollywood over looks. And while I'm not a big fan of celebrities, I am sick of people being put down over looks. Cellulite, weight gain, bad hair days. All three are just some of the trials that come with being female. A small note to the paparazzi: It happens to everyone!

Besides, her cellulite isn't all that bad. I've seen far worse then just a few lines here and there. It's nice to know that celebrities are really just human. They eat, they sleep, and they breathe. End of story. Sheesh, get over yourselves. I'd love to see the bodies of the people who write these articles. They must be perfect if they can criticize everyone else for their looks. Ha! Yeah as if they're going to be the hottest thing since Elle Macpherson. M-J Out!

Paris leaves little to the imagination in sexy photo-shoot

Over-rated. Slutty. Talentless. These are the words that come to mind when I hear the name Paris Hilton. This photo was recently published of Paris wearing nothing more then a pair of Calvin Klein underwear and a hat. Seriously, is there anything this dried up, talentless slut won't do for fame? I think not. The only reason Paris is famous is because she has the Hilton fortune. But even she knows that the fortune isn't enough to keep her famous. So, at every opportunity, she takes off her clothes and pretends she's sexy.

"Yes, I do get paid to go to parties; in fact, I'm the person who started the whole trend of paid appearances" Oh My Gosh, she is so full of herself! She's trashier then Britney Spears, which is saying something. Another quote from her about how she gets furious when critics claim all she does is party: "It makes me angry because people don't know the real me, and I'm a very hard worker." Says the 27-year-old. Hard worker, my ass. Partying must be very hard on her.

Nobody would even look twice at her if she wasn't rich. The amount of crap she comes out with is starting to crack me up. Her numerous products and endorsements which include hair straighteners, a drink, a new perfume, a dog clothing line, a jewellery line and shoe line. Who would honestly ever buy stuff like that just because Paris says it's cool? If you look closely, there's either paper, a spitball or a lump on her stomach, just below her bellybutton. I'm surprised they didn't airbrush it; they certainly airbrushed the rest of her.

Face the facts, nobody is perfect. There is no way this could be natural. Unless, of course, you define natural as airbrushed, caked in makeup and fake-tanned. I’d love to see her without makeup. Prove she’s not perfect. Calling this shot raunchy would be like calling a dead goldfish sexy. The last thing I have to say for this post is that's the closest I've ever seen her legs together. Normally they're both going in separate directions, if you know what I mean. M-J out!