Jennifer Lopez Is Back In Shape

Just three days after she vowed not to lose her baby weight too quickly, Jennifer Lopez is back in shape and getting skinnier by the second. As much as I hate to say it, I told you so! The latest picture of the new mother shows her looking incredibly skinny, consisting the birth was just over five weeks ago. Yeah, I'd say she's on the celebrity post-baby diet.

The post baby diet generally consists of skipping meals, eating as little as possible, exercising night and day and, sometimes, plastic surgery. Actually, that's probably most of the time, if I may correct myself. These stars are no different then you or I, except for the fact that they seem to thrive on making themselves look good.

It's disgusting at the least. My neighbor still has her baby weight, two years after her son was born. Jennifer Lopez has her shape back after just five weeks, even though she had twins. As I surfed through the internet this morning, I was shocked to discover this article. Then I burst into laughter, after I remembered her earlier vow, not to get back into shape too quickly.

My gosh, that is the best laugh I've had in days. Still, I can't help but say; at least she's not as bad as every other woman in Hollywood. They go from 75 kg during pregnancy to 32 kg in weeks. Some of them, it's even days, thanks to plastic surgery. And to think, those image obsessed woman are idols to woman everywhere, with such unrealistic models.

And people wonder why anorexia is such a problem these days in girls ranging from as young as 8 to as old as 50. It's probably younger/older then that. With such unrealistic models to look up to, it's no wonder we all have problems with self esteem. Young girls see these people and think that's the only way they can be pretty.

So they end up with anorexia, starving themselves to try and achieve these frames put on display by the celebrities. It's a horrible trend that's sweeping the nation. But beauty only gets you attention; personality captures the heart of people. Remember that, the next time you look in the mirror and sigh with exasperation. M-J Out!

Jennifer Lopez Vows Not To Lose Her Baby Weight Too Quickly

Yeah, right, give me a break. She'll be a size two within weeks, just you watch. Thinner then ever, right after birth. I can see the headlines now. All twenty thousand of them. Seriously, she's going to claim that for a few weeks, then crash-diet and lose every singly pound she put on during the pregnancy and then some. She'll be close to anorexic as always, I'll bet.

That being said, I already have doubts about Jennifer's parenting skills. Her first night out after the twins were born came less then a month after she gave birth (Exact date was 28th of March if I'm not mistaken). She was as skinny as ever and the twins were nowhere to be seen. Of course, they'd be at home with the team of nannies hired to look after them until they leave childhood and become old enough to take care of themselves.

Face it people, she is no different from every other celebrity, who all have the pressure on them to be thin and perfect like a porcelain doll. Well guess what: It ain't gonna happen, is it? They'll always be image obsessed and be putting out bad role models for the girls who spend hours copying their every move. I tell you, it never fails to amaze me how people can allow themselves to fall under the celebrities spell. We are slaves here people, and it's about time someone spoke out about this.

It looks like I'm going to be that person, as nobody else seems to have the guts to stand up and say "Wait a minute, this isn't right!" to the warped world of Hollywood. I will not be silenced and nothing anyone says or does will stop me form speaking my mind. I don't care who gets upset or hurt at my actions, these words need to be said for the good of Australia and the rest of the world. No celebrity is safe from me; I'm the last angry teen. M-J Out!

Jessica Simpson's Secret Wedding

Jessica Simpson has reportedly married her boyfriend of five months, Tony Romo, in a secret ceremony. But what really bugs me is the fact that this has been splashed all over the newspapers even though it hasn't been reported as true. Who cares? If it was you or I, nobody would give a damn if the wedding really did happen.

And again, I must point out the fact that people are obsessed with celebrities and their everyday lives. If a celebrity wears a dress that looks utterly revolting, if their makeup isn't perfect, if they forget to shave their legs, if they get married or give birth, it's always on the front page the very next day. Or in some cases, literally minutes or hours after the event happens.

Why does this kind crap always get reported when other important issues are going about ignored? They are just people, for the love of God! They eat, they sleep, and they breathe just like the rest of us. There is nothing that separates us besides money, which apparently decides everything these days. Status mostly but other things as well.

It's utterly ridiculous that people are already reporting this even though Jessica hasn't confirmed it - and probably never will - as the truth. This society is horrible, with everyone worshipping other humans simply because they have money and - some of them - some talent. I think we should focus on more important issues in society, other then these lame humans. M-J Out!

Mischa Barton's Dimpled Thighs - And How They Made Headlines Everywhere

Recently Mischa Barton stepped out in a rather unflattering outfit, consisting of sports attire, and showed the world her dimpled thighs. Oh my gosh, a normal woman with cellulite! How will Hollywood cope with this obvious descent into absolute hell? If you haven't noticed by now, yes I am being sarcastic. As usual, many people would say.

Mischa has fine legs for a woman of her age; I know many girls who would kill to have legs like that. At least she's not spending thousands and thousands of dollars on supposed "treatments" for cellulite. There is no treatment for cellulite, every woman knows that. It will appear regardless of how much you spend trying to stop it.

To everyone who has criticized her legs simply because she has cellulite, I'd love to see your bodies. The people who write these articles claim to be perfect but I can pretty much guarantee that every single one of them has at least a little bit of cellulite. There is no way they can be absolutely perfect in every single way.

And I'm not claiming to be either, before you get the wrong idea. I have cellulite, yes, but I don't care who knows it or sees it. Jeez, it's a normal part of being a woman and it’s about time people realized that there is no such thing as the perfect woman. Well, this is where I say goodbye, but only temporarily. I have another piece of writing in the making. M-J Out!

Brad and Angelina's Payoff For First Baby Pictures

Let me say just this. What kind of a world do we live in where any photo is worth $8 million? What happened to the times when parents would have a child because they wanted to, and not just for the baby bonus that was sure to come with it? Those days are gone now, and something tells me they won't be returning any time soon.

I mean, what makes these people any better then you or me? Just because they are continually in the publics eye does not make them the "superior" race. Children are children; it doesn't matter who gives birth to them. If this magazine is stupid enough that it will shell out millions of dollars for pictures of two newborns then I feel sorry for the staff.

When these kids are born, you can guarantee that there will be a huge demand for photos, and that Brad and Angelina will hire a security team to make sure nobody "illegally" snaps a photo of their kids. Honestly, now it's a crime to take a picture? What is this world coming to? Everyday women give birth but none of them are recognized for their efforts.

They bring their children into the world and none of them are widely congratulated; none of them get $8 million for first pictures of their baby (or maybe even babies) are they? I don't think that Angelina should be any different. For the love of God, she's only giving birth, it's not like it's an event that's going to drastically change the world, now is it? M-J Out!

Kerry Katona Leaves Hospital After Suffering Pregnancy Scare

Kerry Katona has been discharged from hospital after a scare when the former Atomic Kitten singer feared she had developed pre-eclampsia. It turned out to be water retention and yet, I'll bet she'll go no smoking, drinking and taking drugs until the baby is born. She hasn't learnt her lesson and she never will unless something serious really does happen to her and her baby.

And I'll bet it does. Alcohol, drugs and smoking is not good for a baby in the womb. Those toxins are passing straight through her placenta and into the baby, who will suffer the consequences of her selfish actions. I feel sorry for the baby even if it is born healthy and well. Having a mother like that would not do a baby well, what with all the danger she's already putting her unborn child in.

But my words are unlikely to reach her, for she is rich, famous and can do whatever the hell she likes. I'll bet social services wouldn't intervene. Oh no, she's famous, we can't take away her child. Let's just go to some other mother who does a good job but doesn't have much money. Yeah, she's clearly negligent. Well, it's 10:00 p.m. here, so I'll write more on this tomorrow. For now, goodnight, and I shall see you tomorrow for another round of articles. M-J Out!

Jack Nicholson: He May Be Overweight, But He's A Great Man To Me

You want to know why? Because this man is the only celebrity in the past few years who can go out in public, no shirt on, hairy as ever, with his man boobs hanging out and still have that air of confidence. People are criticizing him because of the way he looks, but I personally couldn't have been happier when I found this photo, not more then 20 minutes ago.

He's piled on a few pounds since I last saw a picture of him, sure, but at least he still has his confidence. To everyone who has criticized him since this photo surfaced, I say, Com on people, He's 70! He looks good for his age! A smile on his face and not the stereotypical grumpy old man with a frail body and false teeth. To the media, give him a break! Jeez, this world is so obsessed with image these days, it just sickens me.

Let Jack be, for he is truly what this media needs. A confident, happy guy with a beer belly and man boobs is what the media needs to tell them that image isn't important; it's what’s inside that counts. Congratulations to Jack on his realistic figure, and don't you dare lose a single pound. We love you just the way you are. Beauty only gets attention, but personality captures the heart. M-J Out!

Paris Tries Her Hand At Belly Dancing

Paris Hilton, What springs to mind when you hear those words? I could state a few truths right here, right now, but that's not what this article is about, is it now? Recently, Paris Hilton watched a belly dancer named Asena perform on stage and, as usual, felt the urge to upstage her. She therefore ended up on stage, in a horrible dress, trying to belly dance. I'm not sure if there is anyone out there who cares but still, she felt the need to desperately cling to her ever diminishing fame.

My God, is there any part of her body that woman hasn't flashed? Let me think...No, there isn't. I am seriously starting to think that that is the only way she can cling to stardom. By showing off parts of herself that make everyday people cringe - or get turned on, depending on orientation - and dressing in clothes that make my dog look sexier. And my dog is a boy. Seriously, she should just give it up, considering she'd famous mostly for being rich. If she didn't have that fortune, as I have previously stated, nobody would even look twice at her in the streets!

On another topic, I recently heard on the news how Paris visited less fortunate children. I was just starting to think, "Wow, maybe she's changed for the better" when I heard what she did there. She posed with the kids and handed out signed pictures. Signed pictures? Oh come on, Paris, these are poor little kids who have so little food, money and shelter that they are literally below the line of poverty. How the hell are a few signed photos going to help them, huh?

She really is dumber then she looks! They don't need autographs, they need money! Proper education, clean drinking water, enough food, and proper shelter would be the best thing that she could give these kids. Signed pictures! I can't even begin to tell you what's wrong with that! For now, I shall end this article, before it gets too long. But don't worry; I'll be back in about ten minutes with the next article, as I already have a title, picture and story. M-J Out!

Coleen has ELEVEN hour fitting for £100,000 fairytale wedding gown

One hundred thousand pounds. Dear God, it's finally happened. She's lost her mind completely. Coleen McLoughlin is...wait a second, who the hell is she anyway? She's just a nobody to me, and, from what I've heard, she's only famous because she's marrying some brain dead footballer. Why on earth is that a reason to be famous, and sickening?

I remember when weddings used to be about pledging your love for your partner, not about who wears what, how much the wedding cost and who attends. These days it's got nothing to do with true love anymore. When two people get married in Hollywood, the more they splash out with their undeserved cash, the more magazines they sell and the more popular they are.

She's spending £100,000 on a dress, which is probably worth only $250 at any good Salvation Army store, when there are people all over the world unable to afford their own homes, kids not getting a proper education, healthcare going straight to hell and so many other things that need that money more then she does. It's obscene!

Seriously, if there is one celebrity who can go without the million - or billion - dollar wedding, who can live without these obscene luxuries, then I worship them. Unfortunately, I have yet to discover a single celeb that didn’t splash their wedding across newspapers, or give "exclusive" interviews to absolutely every magazine. Personally, I'm disgusted. M-J Out!

Sorry

I apologize to any readers I may have for my recent absence but I have been back at school lately and I haven't had time to blog. With seven assignments, a ton of homework, an excursion, a mystery illness plaguing me and a few other events that took place in the last few weeks, I've literally been snowed under with work. But now, I'm back and I promise, there will be at three articles tonight at the very least, as I have several things I wish to talk about. I shall start writing them out now. Look out for them in the coming two hours. M-J Out!

Lisa Marie Presley: Pregnant Again

It has been confirmed. Lisa Marie Presley is expecting her first child with husband Michael Lockwood. But you know what's really funny? The other day I found a news article commenting on her ballooning weight but this morning, they were announcing her pregnancy. Isn't it amazing how, after so many years, the press are still focusing on weight.

Concentrating on weight is getting us nowhere in this modern world but everyone in the media seems so superficial. Wait, let me correct myself. They are superficial. Once, just once, I would like to see a member of the press praising a celebrity’s weight gain. I mean, are we that superficial that the only thing that matters is weight?

I believe so. But I'll say more on that issue in a later post. For now, I wish to congratulate Lisa Marie on the impending birth. I wish her and her husband all the best and I hope their baby is born healthy and happy. For now, I shall go, as I have another article I'm working on, one that's going to take some stamina to finish.

Again, all the best. M-J Out!

Jade Goody flashes some unsightly flesh

On a girl’s night out, Jade Goody clambered to her car in front of the paparazzi, unintentionally flashing her legs to them. As she got into the car, the cellulite on the back of her legs was clearly visible. As always, the paparazzi took their opportunity and snapped several unflattering photos of her. Since this photo (left) first emerged, there have been several articles about her on the net, discussing her cellulite.

Is anyone even remotely interested? I know I'm not. The media needs to grow up and realize that every woman has cellulite. It's a part of life; something that no woman can avoid. The media is constantly criticizing every person in Hollywood over looks. And while I'm not a big fan of celebrities, I am sick of people being put down over looks. Cellulite, weight gain, bad hair days. All three are just some of the trials that come with being female. A small note to the paparazzi: It happens to everyone!

Besides, her cellulite isn't all that bad. I've seen far worse then just a few lines here and there. It's nice to know that celebrities are really just human. They eat, they sleep, and they breathe. End of story. Sheesh, get over yourselves. I'd love to see the bodies of the people who write these articles. They must be perfect if they can criticize everyone else for their looks. Ha! Yeah as if they're going to be the hottest thing since Elle Macpherson. M-J Out!

Paris leaves little to the imagination in sexy photo-shoot

Over-rated. Slutty. Talentless. These are the words that come to mind when I hear the name Paris Hilton. This photo was recently published of Paris wearing nothing more then a pair of Calvin Klein underwear and a hat. Seriously, is there anything this dried up, talentless slut won't do for fame? I think not. The only reason Paris is famous is because she has the Hilton fortune. But even she knows that the fortune isn't enough to keep her famous. So, at every opportunity, she takes off her clothes and pretends she's sexy.

"Yes, I do get paid to go to parties; in fact, I'm the person who started the whole trend of paid appearances" Oh My Gosh, she is so full of herself! She's trashier then Britney Spears, which is saying something. Another quote from her about how she gets furious when critics claim all she does is party: "It makes me angry because people don't know the real me, and I'm a very hard worker." Says the 27-year-old. Hard worker, my ass. Partying must be very hard on her.

Nobody would even look twice at her if she wasn't rich. The amount of crap she comes out with is starting to crack me up. Her numerous products and endorsements which include hair straighteners, a drink, a new perfume, a dog clothing line, a jewellery line and shoe line. Who would honestly ever buy stuff like that just because Paris says it's cool? If you look closely, there's either paper, a spitball or a lump on her stomach, just below her bellybutton. I'm surprised they didn't airbrush it; they certainly airbrushed the rest of her.

Face the facts, nobody is perfect. There is no way this could be natural. Unless, of course, you define natural as airbrushed, caked in makeup and fake-tanned. I’d love to see her without makeup. Prove she’s not perfect. Calling this shot raunchy would be like calling a dead goldfish sexy. The last thing I have to say for this post is that's the closest I've ever seen her legs together. Normally they're both going in separate directions, if you know what I mean. M-J out!