Jennifer Lopez Is Back In Shape

Just three days after she vowed not to lose her baby weight too quickly, Jennifer Lopez is back in shape and getting skinnier by the second. As much as I hate to say it, I told you so! The latest picture of the new mother shows her looking incredibly skinny, consisting the birth was just over five weeks ago. Yeah, I'd say she's on the celebrity post-baby diet.

The post baby diet generally consists of skipping meals, eating as little as possible, exercising night and day and, sometimes, plastic surgery. Actually, that's probably most of the time, if I may correct myself. These stars are no different then you or I, except for the fact that they seem to thrive on making themselves look good.

It's disgusting at the least. My neighbor still has her baby weight, two years after her son was born. Jennifer Lopez has her shape back after just five weeks, even though she had twins. As I surfed through the internet this morning, I was shocked to discover this article. Then I burst into laughter, after I remembered her earlier vow, not to get back into shape too quickly.

My gosh, that is the best laugh I've had in days. Still, I can't help but say; at least she's not as bad as every other woman in Hollywood. They go from 75 kg during pregnancy to 32 kg in weeks. Some of them, it's even days, thanks to plastic surgery. And to think, those image obsessed woman are idols to woman everywhere, with such unrealistic models.

And people wonder why anorexia is such a problem these days in girls ranging from as young as 8 to as old as 50. It's probably younger/older then that. With such unrealistic models to look up to, it's no wonder we all have problems with self esteem. Young girls see these people and think that's the only way they can be pretty.

So they end up with anorexia, starving themselves to try and achieve these frames put on display by the celebrities. It's a horrible trend that's sweeping the nation. But beauty only gets you attention; personality captures the heart of people. Remember that, the next time you look in the mirror and sigh with exasperation. M-J Out!

Jennifer Lopez Vows Not To Lose Her Baby Weight Too Quickly

Yeah, right, give me a break. She'll be a size two within weeks, just you watch. Thinner then ever, right after birth. I can see the headlines now. All twenty thousand of them. Seriously, she's going to claim that for a few weeks, then crash-diet and lose every singly pound she put on during the pregnancy and then some. She'll be close to anorexic as always, I'll bet.

That being said, I already have doubts about Jennifer's parenting skills. Her first night out after the twins were born came less then a month after she gave birth (Exact date was 28th of March if I'm not mistaken). She was as skinny as ever and the twins were nowhere to be seen. Of course, they'd be at home with the team of nannies hired to look after them until they leave childhood and become old enough to take care of themselves.

Face it people, she is no different from every other celebrity, who all have the pressure on them to be thin and perfect like a porcelain doll. Well guess what: It ain't gonna happen, is it? They'll always be image obsessed and be putting out bad role models for the girls who spend hours copying their every move. I tell you, it never fails to amaze me how people can allow themselves to fall under the celebrities spell. We are slaves here people, and it's about time someone spoke out about this.

It looks like I'm going to be that person, as nobody else seems to have the guts to stand up and say "Wait a minute, this isn't right!" to the warped world of Hollywood. I will not be silenced and nothing anyone says or does will stop me form speaking my mind. I don't care who gets upset or hurt at my actions, these words need to be said for the good of Australia and the rest of the world. No celebrity is safe from me; I'm the last angry teen. M-J Out!

Jessica Simpson's Secret Wedding

Jessica Simpson has reportedly married her boyfriend of five months, Tony Romo, in a secret ceremony. But what really bugs me is the fact that this has been splashed all over the newspapers even though it hasn't been reported as true. Who cares? If it was you or I, nobody would give a damn if the wedding really did happen.

And again, I must point out the fact that people are obsessed with celebrities and their everyday lives. If a celebrity wears a dress that looks utterly revolting, if their makeup isn't perfect, if they forget to shave their legs, if they get married or give birth, it's always on the front page the very next day. Or in some cases, literally minutes or hours after the event happens.

Why does this kind crap always get reported when other important issues are going about ignored? They are just people, for the love of God! They eat, they sleep, and they breathe just like the rest of us. There is nothing that separates us besides money, which apparently decides everything these days. Status mostly but other things as well.

It's utterly ridiculous that people are already reporting this even though Jessica hasn't confirmed it - and probably never will - as the truth. This society is horrible, with everyone worshipping other humans simply because they have money and - some of them - some talent. I think we should focus on more important issues in society, other then these lame humans. M-J Out!

Mischa Barton's Dimpled Thighs - And How They Made Headlines Everywhere

Recently Mischa Barton stepped out in a rather unflattering outfit, consisting of sports attire, and showed the world her dimpled thighs. Oh my gosh, a normal woman with cellulite! How will Hollywood cope with this obvious descent into absolute hell? If you haven't noticed by now, yes I am being sarcastic. As usual, many people would say.

Mischa has fine legs for a woman of her age; I know many girls who would kill to have legs like that. At least she's not spending thousands and thousands of dollars on supposed "treatments" for cellulite. There is no treatment for cellulite, every woman knows that. It will appear regardless of how much you spend trying to stop it.

To everyone who has criticized her legs simply because she has cellulite, I'd love to see your bodies. The people who write these articles claim to be perfect but I can pretty much guarantee that every single one of them has at least a little bit of cellulite. There is no way they can be absolutely perfect in every single way.

And I'm not claiming to be either, before you get the wrong idea. I have cellulite, yes, but I don't care who knows it or sees it. Jeez, it's a normal part of being a woman and it’s about time people realized that there is no such thing as the perfect woman. Well, this is where I say goodbye, but only temporarily. I have another piece of writing in the making. M-J Out!

Brad and Angelina's Payoff For First Baby Pictures

Let me say just this. What kind of a world do we live in where any photo is worth $8 million? What happened to the times when parents would have a child because they wanted to, and not just for the baby bonus that was sure to come with it? Those days are gone now, and something tells me they won't be returning any time soon.

I mean, what makes these people any better then you or me? Just because they are continually in the publics eye does not make them the "superior" race. Children are children; it doesn't matter who gives birth to them. If this magazine is stupid enough that it will shell out millions of dollars for pictures of two newborns then I feel sorry for the staff.

When these kids are born, you can guarantee that there will be a huge demand for photos, and that Brad and Angelina will hire a security team to make sure nobody "illegally" snaps a photo of their kids. Honestly, now it's a crime to take a picture? What is this world coming to? Everyday women give birth but none of them are recognized for their efforts.

They bring their children into the world and none of them are widely congratulated; none of them get $8 million for first pictures of their baby (or maybe even babies) are they? I don't think that Angelina should be any different. For the love of God, she's only giving birth, it's not like it's an event that's going to drastically change the world, now is it? M-J Out!

Kerry Katona Leaves Hospital After Suffering Pregnancy Scare

Kerry Katona has been discharged from hospital after a scare when the former Atomic Kitten singer feared she had developed pre-eclampsia. It turned out to be water retention and yet, I'll bet she'll go no smoking, drinking and taking drugs until the baby is born. She hasn't learnt her lesson and she never will unless something serious really does happen to her and her baby.

And I'll bet it does. Alcohol, drugs and smoking is not good for a baby in the womb. Those toxins are passing straight through her placenta and into the baby, who will suffer the consequences of her selfish actions. I feel sorry for the baby even if it is born healthy and well. Having a mother like that would not do a baby well, what with all the danger she's already putting her unborn child in.

But my words are unlikely to reach her, for she is rich, famous and can do whatever the hell she likes. I'll bet social services wouldn't intervene. Oh no, she's famous, we can't take away her child. Let's just go to some other mother who does a good job but doesn't have much money. Yeah, she's clearly negligent. Well, it's 10:00 p.m. here, so I'll write more on this tomorrow. For now, goodnight, and I shall see you tomorrow for another round of articles. M-J Out!

Jack Nicholson: He May Be Overweight, But He's A Great Man To Me

You want to know why? Because this man is the only celebrity in the past few years who can go out in public, no shirt on, hairy as ever, with his man boobs hanging out and still have that air of confidence. People are criticizing him because of the way he looks, but I personally couldn't have been happier when I found this photo, not more then 20 minutes ago.

He's piled on a few pounds since I last saw a picture of him, sure, but at least he still has his confidence. To everyone who has criticized him since this photo surfaced, I say, Com on people, He's 70! He looks good for his age! A smile on his face and not the stereotypical grumpy old man with a frail body and false teeth. To the media, give him a break! Jeez, this world is so obsessed with image these days, it just sickens me.

Let Jack be, for he is truly what this media needs. A confident, happy guy with a beer belly and man boobs is what the media needs to tell them that image isn't important; it's what’s inside that counts. Congratulations to Jack on his realistic figure, and don't you dare lose a single pound. We love you just the way you are. Beauty only gets attention, but personality captures the heart. M-J Out!